Under the Shadow of the Redwood Tree

I've always had a fascination for the gigantic redwood trees in Northern California that you see pictures of people driving their cars through.  I almost saw these in real life with a friend once, on a past preaching trip, but our next engagement was from Sacramento to San Diego, and we didn't want to drive so far off course, so we missed some of the biggest ones. Those massive trees are great for those of us who are sightseeing, but what a massive shadow they must cast on smaller trees around the forest struggling to survive!  

I remember watching Planet Earth, a series of videos from BBC shot over a period of 5 years, all over the world, in some of the rarest and most beautiful natural locations, capturing footage and creatures that most people in the world have never seen. That was quite a mouthful, but they are seriously some of my favorite movies ever. Even Oprah raved about this footage. One of the clips shares briefly about the struggles of various plants and trees in the rainforests around the world to grow up and flourish as larger trees and plants cut them off from much needed nutrients and sunlight.

Sometimes I feel like the little tree.

Not so much because other ministers around me are doing much more significant things. On one hand, I know that to be true. On the other hand, I know I can't trust my own opinion - as Pastor Seven Furtick recently put it on his twitter, "One reason we struggle w/ insecurity: we're comparing our behind the scenes to everyone else's highlight reel." Also, I know that God often hides from us our own usefulness (1 Samuel 18: 6-8; 23) so we will remain dependent upon Him. What makes me feel most like the "little tree" is other ministries that seem to want me either assimilated into their ministry or gone all together - larger ministries that somehow see me as competition (even though we are on the same side!).

Ministry is hard enough when we are fighting against the forces of evil and a secular culture raging against God and His truth, but when other ministers and ministries seem to have it out for us it can just plain steal the joy of the ministry. No one promised me ministry would be easy, but I had at least hoped other leaders would be on my side.

I've heard that the number one reason missionaries leave the field is interpersonal relationships. Many other things come against them, but in some sense "only other trees have the ability to sap their sunlight and nutrients" on this ungodly, destructive level.

As an itinerant or para-church ministry, ministry opportunities often come like a rollarcoaster. Many one month and none the next. I've been wrestling with my own significance from the beginning. On our main blog a few weeks ago I wrote about a realization I had that even if God just wants me to be a "little tree," or as King David puts it a "doorkeeper in the house of my God" (Psalm 84:10) that I want to passionately do just that.

Part of what I wrote there: "No matter the extent to which God uses me for His Kingdom or does not use me ... even if He simply desires me to be a humble doorkeeper, doing mundane tasks for His glory - my heart longs to obey rather than do anything else! Of course, I desire for God to use me greatly, yet my life is surrendered to His purposes and glory. Brother Lawrence in his classic The Practice of the Presence of God, shares about his experience of the same intensity of God's Presence in his prayer times as when he washed dishes for the brotherhood in his monastery."

Reinhard Bonnke, an evangelist God has used across Africa, and who has preached the Gospel to more people than anyone in human history recently wrote on his facebook: "Christ did not die to make us famous, but to save the lost." Indeed, Christ did not call us all to be "big trees" - meaning He didn't call us to greatness, He called us to serve. He even came to serve Himself: "The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." (Matthew 20:28). Maybe our ministries and Kingdom efforts need to start looking more like Jesus, and less like the American dream?

Cissie Graham Lynch's, daughter of Franklin Graham (granddaughter of Billy Graham) and wife of NFL football player Corey Lynch wrote a very encouraging blog earlier today about this struggle:

She writes: "I often tease that I went from being Franklin Graham’s daughter to Corey Lynch’s wife. Somewhere between growing up in my dad’s shadow and marrying a football star, I lost my feeling of personal significance. Being surrounded by men of great talent makes me feel worthless ... I was reminded this morning while reading Mark 15 that it is not what I CAN’T do, but it what I CAN do. Mary Magdalene and Mary the mother of James had no power. They couldn’t save Jesus, the man they loved. They could not go before the Sanhedrin to stand in Jesus’ defense. They did not have that power, nor the respect, to do so. But what they could do was stand by Jesus’ side. They stayed at the foot of the cross. They followed Him to the tomb, and they prepared spices for His body. They did what they could. And because they did what they could, they were the first to see Jesus’ resurrection. So, do not dwell on what you can’t do, but focus on what you CAN do. You might be missing out on some divine miracles. Where is your focus? What are you missing out on because you’re focused on the wrong thing?" (read the full blog here)

A few good questions: 

1. Are you, as a Christian leader, sapping other people's Kingdom energy OR are you blessing, serving and encouraging them? If your ministry is larger, consider being the "larger" person and bend down to resolve any issues that need attention and to serve and encourage them.

2. Are you as a Christian passionate for God's Kingdom allowing others to sap your energy and steal your joy? How can you refocus on the calling and purposes of God for your life and reposition yourself to walk in that joy of the Holy Spirit?