In my job (If you can call it a job) I travel a lot.  When I'm speaking to people I feel I'm doing what I was born to do.  Especially when speaking to students in a packed out gymnasium, that's when I'm most in my element.  The adrenaline is pumping, there's laughter and tears, and God is moving in lives. Seeing that student that was once broken give their life to Jesus--that's the most amazing feeling of accomplishment anyone could ever have.  I go to these events and give my all. I go home exhausted knowing I gave everything to those students.  I'm great at the event and I'm great at exhausting myself.  To tell you the truth if I'm not exhausted I don't feel like I did my job.  

The thing I'm not so good at is resting and recovering from the event.  I find that I come home usually in a grumpy mood. I'm exhausted spiritually, mentally, and physically.  My lovely wife is always there with a smile to welcome me home.  My poor wife.  I arrive home drained from speaking, lack of sleep and from conversations with students and I just collapse.  

For the longest time I would find myself coming home and immediately jumping into the next big project without taking a day to replenish myself physically, mentally and spiritually.  I thought I needed to be like the Christian Terminator destroying my body then bouncing back without any recovery.  I felt guilty if I didn't get right "back to work." Sadly, I was just fooling myself and not only was I suffering as a result of not resting, I was causing my wife to suffer as well. 

When you look the words weak or weakness up in the bible it appears 74 times.  In the New Testament its most often talked about by a man named Paul (known as Saul of Tarsus).  In 1 Corinthians he speaks to the Corinthians saying, "I came to you in weakness-timid and trembling." He says that he did this so they would trust not in human wisdom but in the power of God.  Trusting and relying on the power of God...hmm...now there's a concept.  It's easy for me to rely on the power of God when I speak because quite frankly I know I would be speaking nonsense without God's Spirit.  However, it's not that easy for me to rely on God's Spirit to refuel after a week of ministry.  I find myself going into a funk.  I'm tired and grumpy and I drink caffeine in an attempt to push past the weakness.  I've finally come to realize I need to allow my body to come down naturally from this spiritual high and the best thing for my body at that time is REST.  Pretty simple isn't it?  Writing a whole blog like this to say all I need to do is rest!

A few weeks ago my wife sent me a video from Mark Driscoll, Pastor of Mars Hill Bible Church in Seattle Washington.  It was titled "What to do After the Big Day" and it sparked this blog I'm writing to you now.  In it Pastor Mark speaks very candidly and honestly about what I'm speaking about here.  As I watched it struck me: "Oh man thats me!"  I'm attaching the video to this blog and I hope it speaks to you as it did me.  I hope you take time to rest and refuel yourself.  Do you always find yourself saying how busy you are, how you need to take a break but you needlessly keep plugging away?  Drop your pride, realize you're human, take time to get refueled by the word and REST.  But don't just stop there. List each of the areas in your life that you feel you need to get under control.  One of the things I'm trying to do is get on a better sleep schedule.  I often find myself up until the wee hours of the morning because I can't shut down my brain, then the next day I'm exhausted. 

Although being weak isn't fun, I thank God for my weakness because in my weakness he is made strong!  I need to learn to rely on his strength and not my own.  For those of you who, like me, feel the pressure of being all things to all people, please realize you're human.  I pray you find rest in your soul and in your body.  I leave you with 2 Corinthians 12:9 where the Apostle Paul says: "Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away.  Each time he said, My grace is all you need.  My power works best in weakness."  

May we all learn to rely on Gods grace!

Much love!

Jason 

Just as our bodies get tired physically and we become unfocused and perhaps even sick, our spiritual bodies also can weaken.  What is the energy drink for our souls to boost our alertness and give us that extra 'oomph' that won't leave us crashing hours later?  That spiritual energy drink is the Holy Spirit.  Jesus said in John 16:5 that he would be going back to the one who sent him, but promised us he would send "the Spirit of truth" to guide us in all truth.  He said the Spirit would tell us what he has heard, that he would tell us about the future, and be a messenger of what God has to say to us.  The Holy Spirit was given to us by the Father (John 14:16), by Christ (Isaiah 61:3), through Christ's intercession (John 14:16).

I remember seeing a Redbull energy drink commercial where a frog wanted to be turned into a prince.  As the fairy tail goes, the princess is supposed to kiss the frog and that would magically turn the frog into a handsome prince.  However in this commercial when the princess gets ready to kiss the frog the frog asks for a Redbull energy drink instead.  The Redbull slogan is "Redbull gives you wings!"  Once the princess gives the Redbull to the frog he turns into a prince and grows a set of wings.  He starts to fly off and the princess says "wait where are you going?" and the prince says "I want to check out the other princesses, you know, keep my options open!" It's pretty funny.  Well, to make a weird analogy, the Holy Spirit is here to give us wings!  No, not so we can keep our options open or fly away from Christ, but just the opposite--so we can fly towards Christ.  Wings help us get to our destination a whole lot faster than walking plus the wings give us power!

Jesus says in Acts 1:8 that, "when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, you will receive power and will tell people about me everywhere-in Jerusalem, throughout Judea, in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."  The Holy Spirit is our wings!  He's there to give us power, to be that boost to help us over that hump, and give us boldness to share our faith.  He's the gas for the Harley!  I don't care how nice the bike is in the showroom, without gas in it, its not going anywhere!  The Holy Spirit helps us overcome obstacles in our way.  If I brought you to a huge tree in the woods and I gave you a chainsaw and an axe and said you could cut it down with either, but you could only use one, most of us would all choose the chainsaw because it would do the same job of the axe but in half the time!  Can we get through life and its many challenges and difficulties without the Holy Spirit's infilling?  Truth is, yes, but it's gonna be a lot harder and take a lot longer than if we would use his power!  The believers (the disciples of Jesus) were "filled" with the Holy Spirt on the day of Pentecost seven weeks after Jesus' resurrection.  It says in Acts 2:1-4 that "on the day of Pentecost the believers were meeting together in one place.  Suddenly there was a sound from heaven like the roaring of a mighty windstorm in the skies above them, and it filled the house where they were meeting.  Then what looked liked flames or tongues of fire appeared and settled on each of them. And everyone present was filled with the Holy Spirit and began speaking in other languages, as the Holy Spirit gave them this ability."

I remember a time a man in church was causing a major disruption during worship.  He was jumping around, yelling loudly, and dancing up to other people pushing them demanding that they do what he was doing.  He went up to the Pastor and nudged him saying he too would jump around if he was as free as he was.  The Pastor simply put his arm around his neck whispered something and moments later the man stormed angrily out.  Being curious and wanting to learn from the experience, I asked my pastor later what he said to make the man so mad.  He answered, "All I told him was that the purpose of worship was to bring glory and attention to God and not ourselves and he was bringing attention to himself; I told him that he would need to leave if he continued."  The man left in anger and never learned what the pastor and more importantly what God desired to teach him.  Too many people think it's about themselves when it's not.  The Holy Spirit's purpose is to empower us so we can give God glory, not bring glory to ourselves.  I love the verse in John 3:30 "He must become greater and greater and I must become less and less."  When we are empowered by the Holy Spirit, the purpose is to make Jesus greater, and to make ourselves less.  By us becoming less we are not focused on the "gifts" of the Spirt so much as we are wanting to please the Spirit and make Jesus happy. 

honest, if I would have known how much this was going to hurt and how uncomfortable the recovery time would be, I wouldn't have done it.  I've always had major sinus issues and continually had sinus infections.  Hacking, coughing, snorting, sniffing, blowing--you name it and I have done it.  My poor wife has had to put up with all of the above and has learned to sleep through a hurricane other wise known as my nose!  I went in about 5 months ago to an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor. This guy, being a specialist and coming highly recommended, scoped my nose, putting a light and long tube up my nose probing around.  As my eyes were watering and I'm trying not to choke he brings the scope out and says, "Oh man! You got some nasty stuff going on in there!"  Ok time out:  It's never good when a doctor that's spent his life specializing in examining holes other doctors refuse to look into says, "Oh man! You got some nasty stuff going on there!"  

After my summer traveling I went in for surgery.  I remember feeling somewhat nervous being put "under" and all.  There I was stretched out on the operating table in a dress that wouldn't close in the back and a paper shower cap on my head bathed in bright light and I started thinking to myself is this really worth the humiliation?  The anesthesiologist gave me something good and said I would be sleeping in no time.  I remember whatever he gave me made my rear end itch and then I said, "You know this room is really intimidating, with these bright lights and stuff.  Oh well, you guys do a good job, ok?"  And I was out.  When I woke up in recovery all I remember was I couldn't see anything and the nurse kept telling me that I was making a mess because I was coughing up blood everywhere.    For the next seven weeks I was blowing the most hideous, smelly, crusty stuff you can imagine out of my nose.  It got to the point where after I would give birth to this alien out of my nose I would run to my wife and beg her to look at what I just accomplished!  Every guy knows what I’m talking about.  Ladies here's some advice, if a guy ever goes to the bathroom and asks you to come look at something don't go, it's never good.  

As painful as the recovery time was I have to say it was well worth it.  I don't remember the last time I was able to have 100% breathability through both nostrils.  I hardly ever get a headache anymore.  As I was recovering and blowing this crud out, I kept asking myself, "Why the junk did this doctor not pull out all this stuff when he was in there!"  I was at times very frustrated thinking that a couple days after the surgery everything would be great and I would be completely well; little did I know, it was going to take seven weeks of nastiness before I started feeling better.  

James 1:2-4 says "Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.  For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.  So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing." 

In the message version it states that we should consider it a "sheer gift" when troubles come our way.  A gift!!  What!?  Did I hear that right?  We should consider all the heartache that life brings, all the "nastiness" the recovery if you will a gift?  That means I should consider my abusive upbringing a gift from God...it's kinda hard when you put it like that.  

The only way to get rid of the infection and the nastiness of our flesh is to put ourselves through the fire (1 Corinthians 3:12-13) and when we go through that fire it will reveal whether or not we have what it takes.  It will reveal if we have cut corners through the trials of life or whether we have faced our trials head on.  I've used every kind of nose spray you can think of; I've used decongestants; I've been on antibiotics, but all those things were temporary bandages, getting rid of the pain temporarily, but never fixing the problem.  The problem was fixed when the doctor put this scope in my nose and then went in my head and cut things away that were not supposed to be there.  That's what life feels like sometimes doesn't it?  It feels as if God is cutting things away in our lives, trimming the fat, the infection, and it's not until we surrender our desire for a Mickey -Mouse-Disney-movie-perfect-ending fantasy to Him that He will truly be able to move in our lives.  

We have to stop wanting the temporary patches of life, we have to start welcoming the trials that God brings our way, knowing it's the trials that will keep us standing firm in our faith when the winds blow and the storms come.  Knowing that it's through these trials that we will find ourselves and see who we really are and, better yet, see how great our God really is.  

A while ago I was talking on the phone to my father.  For some reason I said, "Dad I want to thank you for the abuse, because I've been able to help a lot of people, and if my life wasn't like that as a child I don't think I would be as effective as I am."  I didn't say that out of animosity, but I truly meant it.  We have two choices when trials come our way, we can either get bitter or better.  We can try to prolong the inevitable of what we know is coming by patching it up with bandages or we can welcome it knowing God is in control and he will direct our paths (Proverbs 3:5-6).  There is nothing more rewarding than going through that trial and coming out the other side realizing you have what it takes to survive.  

I think that's how the Apostle Paul got to the point where he could write 2 Corinthians 6 with an honest heart. He was beaten with whips and rods, he was stoned, shipwrecked and left for dead and yet the guy surrendered everything.  He basically got to the point where he knew it was going to hurt but made the decision that this life is only temporary and his pain and these trials wouldn't last forever. He was confident and that one day this life would pass and he would stand before God with precious rubies, things that mattered because he was put through the fire and he came out a man, a man that didn't forfeit his character or integrity to shorten the trial, but pushed through it, welcoming it, knowing that it was that trial that would prepare him for his future.   

I had a kid come up to me after the assembly program from this last school tour I did in Wisconsin.  He said, "Jason last night I was going to end my life but something told me to come today and hear your story, I'm glad I did because now I know I can make it."  I’m really glad I made it through that trial in my life as a kid, I'm glad I didn't cut a corner and although very painful learned what I needed to learn through it.  It was because of that trial in my life that someone else could see that God was real (2 Corinthians 4:8-10).  What are the trials in your life?  Are you using different "bandages" to temporarily patch you up, trying to avoid the unavoidable and lessen the pain of the trial?  My prayer is that each of us would cling tightly to Christ and embrace the trials that come our way knowing that He is going to use those trials to strengthen the faith of someone else and ultimately lead them to Him.

"Hurts so good, come on baby make it hurt so good, sometimes love don't feel like it should come on and make it hurt so good!"  -Hurts So Good, by John Cougar Mellencamp

Much love!

But then one day a girl named Jenny Rutherford invited me to her Wednesday night church youth group. I literally looked over my shoulder thinking she was talking to someone else! As that Wednesday rolled around I began to feel kind of nervous wondering if the kids in this "youth group" would accept me. My family rarely went to church, but when we did my mom dressed us to the nines! So naturally, I figured I'd better dress up...Yeah you know where I’m going with this. I wore my khaki slacks, a dress shirt and a brand new vest my mom had got me. I remember walking in and seeing everyone else wearing jeans and t-shirts! I'm pretty sure one guy didn't even have a shirt on! Once again I felt out of place. I stood cringing; waiting for the "dufus" remarks to start when I was greeted by this college guy who gave me a huge hug and said "we're so glad you're here!" It brought tears to my eyes, because for the first time in a long time I felt accepted, needed, and loved. That one hug changed my life. I ended up going back to that youth group again and again and ended up making the greatest friends anyone could ever have. They were all older than me and it was crazy how we met. We were all hanging out at a house and they thought I was funny so they kept inviting me to hang out with them. Over the years we developed a deep bond. We hung out 24/7. Every weekend we were sleeping over at one of our houses, wrestling to the flashes of a strobe light, toilet papering houses and laughing until we thought we would throw up!
 
I have never laughed as hard as I did than when I was with those guys! I always wondered what put us together, I know now it was God. God used those guys to keep me alive. There were several times I thought about ending my life, but my friends gave me hope. I have to be honest, at first I didn't go to church because of God, I went because I felt accepted and I knew I would see my friends. One thing we all had in common was we came from broken homes. We each had our pain, and there were many nights we would all cry our eyes out not afraid of showing our weaknesses to each other. On several occasions I remember making a pact with them that we would be better fathers to our kids than our fathers had been to us. They stood up in my wedding and I stood up in theirs. If I was ever in a war they, along with my brother, would be the ones I would want to get my back. Never have these guys thought less of me, tried to use me, or betrayed my trust. They aren't perfect, but they are honest and true. I remember getting together with them and praying for hours. I remember the time I thought I had bit my tongue off playing slaughter ball in the pool and they helped me look for it. There have been times when I've been afraid, but  I knew I could call one of them, no matter what time of day or night it was; knowing I wasn't an inconvenience; knowing they had my back. Today we're scattered across the United States. Even if years go by when we don't see one another, when we reunite it's as if we've never been apart. They are men of Character, men of faith. My friends.

Proverbs 18:24 says "there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." It may sound weird, but as my faith in my friends grew my faith in my God grew. I thank God for his true friendship and for placing these friends in my life at such a needed time. It was through their love that I began to see His love. God knows what we need and when we need it. If you have a true friend, take some time today to tell them how much their friendship means to you. Life's to short not to tell the ones we love how much they mean to us. I hear a lot of people say they have good friends and when I hear that I always say to myself "but not as good as my friends." While many people have good friends only a few have true friends. Be thankful for them!

PS: To my true friends, I love you guys! Thank you for always being there for me! SF forever!

I've learned that life is one big dance. Sometimes you lead; sometimes you follow...that's a song, but so true! Our music is our joy in life. Sometimes we don't hear the music because we have no joy. Sometimes others come and try to take our music because they don't have any of their own. There are people that live their whole lives not hearing a single note. They think their music lies in money, success, power or in climbing the social ladder. They believe once they reach the top rung of that ladder they will finally be able to enjoy the music. The sad thing is, when they get there they don't hear a thing. Not everything in life is great, but it's the joy we find within those circumstances that keeps our music playing and, more importantly, keeps us dancing. Why do we let circumstances, people, fears and countless other things, hold us back from dancing the dance God has created us for? How often do we lie to ourselves saying, "well this is just what I have to do." We grow up, have a dream, go to school, are told to stop dreaming; we come back to reality, graduate from school, go to more school, get a job we never wanted so we can pay off the school we never wanted to attend; we get married, have kids, get a house we can't pay for, work 30 plus years, all the while being miserable trying to find security financially so when we're old and gray we can retire being bitter at the world for making us bitter, old and gray! Whew! When it's laid out like that it seems really bad! Yet, I think not reaching our full potential and not fulfilling the purpose God has for us--that's what is really bad. We are people of excuses! We have one for everything and what's crazy is we convince ourselves that our "excuses" are legit. I love when I see people who defy all odds. I have a Rocky poster that reads "His whole life was a million to one shot!" Those kind of people learn to play their own music and they dance to a different beat. It's a beat that makes "normal" people feel nervous because it's a beat that's not safe; a beat that's risky.

I was in Barnes and Noble the other day. I was reading in the cafe area because as I was running for one of those precious few comfy chairs, a lady whisked in and took it from me! I had to laugh at the whole thing. Even if I did beat her to it what would I have said, "sorry lady, ya  snooze ya loose!" Yeah right! So I went to the cafe area. As I was reading my book, out of the corner of my eye I saw a lady sit down. She appeared to have her arms tucked into her shirt, like she was cold or something, but as I looked closer I realized she didn't have any arms. I'm serious there was nothing there!  The lady from the cafe brought her a danish and a drink. I truly didn't want to stare, but I was wondering how in the world she was going to eat her danish and drink her fancy drink! I watched as she took her foot and wrapped her toes around a straw, peeled off the paper and put the straw in her drink! She then picked up her fork with her toes, and began to eat her danish! I was so amazed by what she had done I almost yelled out, "Yes! That's awesome!" I caught myself and realized that probably wouldn't be the best thing to do. Yet, I was so humbled by this woman. Here she was living her life to the fullest. I felt like God said to me "so what's your excuse."

My mother-in-law is one of my heroes. She's going on ... (this is where I know to not insert her age because I want to live to see 50). Most of her life she has worked on staff at a church handling all the bookkeeping and administrative work (stuff that would drive me crazy). She is very good at it, too. She's always been a leader; it seems to just come naturally to her. She's also an entrepreneur! She wouldn't say that, but she is. She's always had a desire to have her own business. She never really shared this desire with anyone, but one day she just decided she was gonna do it! She went to school to learn how to do nails with the intention of eventually opening up her own nail salon.  She had no clue what was going to happen when she stepped out on the dance floor--all she new was she needed a change in her music because the dance was getting old. She put in her notice at her "safe" job and now works full time doing nails and is happier than ever! The point is, if you're not happy with the music playing in your life--change it. If you don't like the dance you've been dancing, learn a new one. You'll probably fail a few times, you might even embarrass yourself, but you know what, you will find your dance. Even when people say "I told you so" and "it can't be done" recognize that they are people without music, content to just sit on the sidelines watching you play!

A few years ago when I stepped out to do Elevate, it seemed there were people lining up at the door telling me it couldn't be done. I remember one pastor in particular saying, "you can't do this, who do you think you are? Take a youth pastor position and work your way up." What he was really saying was, "play it safe, don't take risks, I know because I've tried and I failed." I feel sorry for people like that. I remember when I was praying about stepping out in faith to do the ministry that I do now. I asked God what He wanted me to do and He said, "Jason if you stay right where you are I'll bless it, but one day I'll show you what you could have done if you would have had more faith." I'll never forget that! It gave me chills. That's my biggest fear, arriving in heaven, Jesus looking at me and saying, "well done my good and faithful servant" then adding "but this is what you could have done if you would have had more faith."

Life's a dance; it's up to us to choose the music and live our lives to the fullest, taking risks and stepping out in faith. Don't expect it to make sense all at once, you have to practice a dance to get it down. Don't expect it to be easy, if it were, more people would be dancing. Know this: God will honor your faith! Dance your heart out.

About five months ago I purchased a gym membership. I've been against gym membership because statistics show that 85% of people who have memberships don't even go to the gym. But seeing as it was only $10 a month, I said 'hey, why not!' I'm not one to go to the gym and pump iron, but I have been faithful for about five months now. It took about two months before I started seeing some results. I was feeling pretty good about progress and then Christmas came. Yeah Christmas...enough said. You have the apple pies, and the cherry pies, and the marshmallow fudge and then there's sugar cookies. Oh yes, let's not forget the sugar cookies! All those cute reindeer and snowmen topped with vanilla icing and sprinkled with colorful delight! I tell you people, if sugar was illegal, I would be in prison!! I love sweets! I've tried to tell myself I don't really like them, I've tried to convince myself it's all in my head. But the truth is, I love sweets! There's a weight loss saying that goes "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels." Ha! I don't know if that's true or not because I love sweets more than getting into shape--when I'm eating it, but after wards, I feel like dookie! I think, man all this hard work lost to this stupid (albeit delicious) sugar cookie!! I've come to realize that working out isn't enough, you have to eat right as well. Statistics show that as much as 85% of getting into shape is simply eating the right things.

Seems like our whole life is spent trying to find balance and getting things into shape. Whether it's your marriage, work, or weight--sometimes the scale is tipped to the right and at other times it's to the left. Every now and then you get it balanced out. There are times you believe you're doing everything correctly, then you discover you have to eat right, too. I guess that's part of the adventure. You can't get frustrated about it you just have to keep tipping the scales and when it comes to your weight you hope it tips to the left!

Life is hard work but hard work results in a great pay off! The best part about the work is not the end result, but the journey it took you to get there. I hope I never get so focused on the end result that I lose sight of the journey. Learn to laugh at yourself. When you fail (and you will), be proud that you tried, then try again. What's the journey you're on? What do you want for this new year? I pray you will enjoy the journey on your way to your destination! I pray you will take a chance and step out in faith into the unknown. Don't keep looking at the past focusing on your failures--your would of, could of, should haves. Look to the future and trust in the Lord to balance out your scale!

Now I got to go get on the tread mill! ;)

I'm a huge Mac fan. I speak so highly of the product, I feel Steve Jobs should be paying me! His product has simplified my life. People ask me why do you like Mac over PC? The best answer I can give them is, "it helps me get more things done, in half the time". There's something to be said about the product that gets the loyalty of a person. The product has to be great in order for the person to not only like it, but sell it to his/her friends. I think about my Christianity. I wonder, is it the real deal or an imitation? Is it Dr. Pepper? or is it Dr. Thunder? Is it a Mac? or a PC? Would someone look at me and my "brand" of Christianity and buy it? Would they want to sell it to their friends? Would it simplify their lives, or make things more complicated for them? I know the Christianity that Jesus started would definitely sell! People loved that guy! The people that hated him were the imitators the "Dr. Thunders." He sold a product that was valuable, not watered down. Somewhere along the way we've diluted the power of Christ. We've taken a name that was great and turned it into something it's not. I heard that Coca-Cola is so protective of their secret ingredients that only a handful of people even know how to make it. Of those handful, none of them know every ingredient. Without the other ingredients from the other people, it would not be Coca-Cola. I like Coca-Cola, it's good, it's a quality product. Coke recognizes that value to the point that they lock the recipe up! Jesus comes and shows us this awesome product--a product so awesome that nothing else compares! Mac, Dr. Pepper, Coca-Cola -- nothing holds a candle to Jesus. And get this, he gives the recipe to us! He entrust us with His recipe. Some have taken the original recipe and made watered down imitations, they've taken what tastes good to them and poured out what they didn't like. That's just it though, if you take one single ingredient out of Coca-Cola, no matter how insignificant you feel that ingredient is, it's no longer Coca-Cola, it's an imitation, an impostor, a fake.

I want to live my Christianity in a way that says I'm the real deal. No one (besides Jesus) lived it better  than Paul the Apostle. He literally tells people to "follow me, as I follow Christ", (1 Corinthians 11:1). This guy was beaten with whips five different times, three different times he was beaten with rods, and once he had large stones throne at him! Once he spent a whole night and day adrift at sea! (2 Corinthians 11:23-30). C'mon people! If anyone was the real deal it was Paul the Apostle! I crack up when people say there is no God! If there were no God, Paul was one stupid man to suffer for nothing! We each discover if we are the real deal when we persevere through the trials that are sent our way. Anyone can serve Christ when circumstances are going their way...but it takes the real deal to serve Him when everything's crashing in. It's the trials and circumstances of life that shows us what our ingredients are and what we are made of.

I hope when people look at me they see the real deal; ultimately if they do, they will only see Christ.

"He must become greater and greater and I must become less and less." (John 3:30)

Many of us are selfish in our relationship with Christ. We want it our way, on our time. In reality this is not a relationship at all, but instead is a dictatorship--with us in the role of dictator. If God never answered another prayer for me, and I never felt those "spiritual goose bumps" ever again, God would still be sovereign. He would still be a God of love and grace. He doesn't owe me anything. Yet, He already gave me the greatest gift He could ever give...His life. I pray He helps me to live my life for Him whether or not I "feel" Him or not.

There could be many reasons why you don't feel Him like you used to. It could be there's sin in your life; it could be that you are just too far away to hear His voice; but it could be that you aren't doing anything wrong. It could be God is letting your faith become stronger. James 1:3-4 reads, "For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything." The sad thing is most of us don't want to go through those trials to become stronger; we wan it to be like zap--fast and easy.  That's just our human nature. The truth of it is, nothing has a lasting impact without a testing. God is always there, no matter how far away He feels. It says in Psalms 139:7-8 "I can never escape from your spirit! I can never get away from your presence! If I go up to heaven, you are there, if I go down to the place of the dead, you are there."

Take time to examine your heart and ask yourself why He feels far away. If it's the way you're living, ask for His forgiveness and come back to Him. If you're just in a place of testing, stand firm and hold tightly to His truth (the Bible). Let us be people that love Him not for what He can give us, but for what He has already done. Thank you Jesus for feelings, but let my relationship with You be more than a feeling!